May has been a month of endings and beginnings for me, and for as much as I think things are in control, I have learned that change is always afoot. One of the biggest lessons I just got a reminder on was that as much as we get caught up in the ending of things, we often forget that the opportunity is there for a fresh start. Allow me to explain my latest and quite powerful life lesson.
For several months I had been looking forward to the opportunity to speak at a conference in Philadelphia where I had been asked to lead two empowering workshops. It was an exciting time of year to visit the keystone state, as I was so looking forward to seeing signs of spring. The opportunity to leave the chilly New England spring behind and go where the trees were turning green and the tulips were blooming seemed to add an energy and joy to the long 7 hour drive from home. Upon arrival everything seemed to go as planned as we checked in and got setup at the conference. As we drove from place to place we couldn't resist the lure of the scenic Pennsylvania countryside, and we made plans to see as much of it as we could during the downtime. Day one went off without a hitch and as tired as we were from the drive, we were happy to meet new people and share stories and inspiration from our little corner of New England. My presentations were well received by captive audiences and I was thrilled that things were going so well.
Day two seemed to go well and the opportunity presented itself to go exploring for dinner. We decided to take a 50 mile drive to a cute little village for dinner and the evening unfolded quite happily. However, upon the ride home things went right down the hole, quite literally! Imagine a dark road and a clear night with no moon and all of a sudden - Smash! I seemed to have hit the mother of all potholes. Now, being from New England I had hit my share of potholes in my driving career, but this was enough to knock the fillings out of my teeth. All of a sudden I realized that something was wrong with my car, it wasn't running at all. I checked everything I could think of and no luck, something was seriously wrong. I directed the car to the side of the road and wondered if it was my tire, unfortunately it wasn't that easy, the tire appeared to be fine. With a slight panic I called for roadside assistance and while on the phone I heard another car hit the pothole and they proceeded to pull over in front of me. After waiting for quite some time the tow truck driver showed up and told me that he couldn't tow my car as it was stuck in park. He also proceeded to lock his keys inside his truck. I got back on the phone to roadside assistance to inform that what had just happened, only to find out that the next truck that would be equipped to tow us was at least an hour away on another tow. All we could do was to sit and wait. The tow truck that came for us towed away the other pothole victims as we sat in the dark car on a chilly spring night.
Tow truck number two showed up, but could not tow us as he was worried the length of the car might drag on the ground. To say I was feeling a little cold and frustrated was an understatement. In the meanwhile my husband figured out how to move the car out of park. The local police showed up and we were finally able to move the car into a nearby gravel driveway. I was back on the phone with roadside service for the third time, to get the original tow truck back. I was tired and cold as I sat in the car and watched the red roadside flare burn down to ashes. Finally at about 4:45 am, the first tow truck came back as the sky began to lighten. I couldn't believe the ordeal which had begun around 11:00 pm was almost over, but we still had 50 miles to go to get back to the hotel. Unbelievably, I wasn't the only one that was tired, apparently so was the tow truck driver. For the entire ride my husband had to keep him engaged in conversation as the driver kept nodding off. We finally arrived back at the hotel on Sunday morning at 6:30 am.
It was day 3 of the conference, which began in just a few hours. With about an hour or so of sleep I was up on the phone as I tried to find a service shop for my car, with no luck. I called my auto insurance to start my traveler's insurance claim to obtain a rental car, and I quickly learned that nothing happens on Sunday. I called down to the conference to tell them my story and to see if they could arrange a ride as I was only 10 miles away. I was in luck, as I was able to get a ride to the conference and I spent the day doing intuitive card readings and working my booth. Finally the conference came to a close and it was time to head back to the hotel - with all our stuff. Once again I had to scout out another ride, one who could take our carload of booth supplies back to the hotel. The kindness of strangers answered the call and in a couple of hours we were back at our hotel transferring our booth supplies from one car to another. Exhausted we called for take out delivery and we went to bed hoping for the best on Monday.
Monday arrived with a flurry of phone calls and with a stranger's referral I was able to find a place where I could tow my car and I was able to secure a car rental through my insurance company. As the day went on the car was in the shop and I looked to nature to re-ground myself. We spent the day at Valley Forge, which was a very short drive from the hotel. It seemed to be just what I needed and while there I got the call that the car was fixed and the shop wasn't going to charge me for the service, as it was just a switch that needed to be reset. I was happy that I could pick up the car the next day and head on home.
Tuesday arrived and I was all set to pick up the car and when I arrived the car wouldn't start at the shop. They needed more time to look at it, so off we went looking for lunch as we anxiously awaited word as to if we were going to be able to go home. Towards the end of the day we got a phone call that we were all set to go and still there was no charge. We exchanged the rental car for ours and off we went, happy to finally be going home. I finally felt hopeful that we left being the stress of the weekend.
We decided to go home through the Poconos as we thought a scenic drive would be relaxing. The sun set behind the rambling mountains as we drove into the National Forest and the animals who called the area home emerged from the evening shadows. We first saw a fox along the hillside and a few miles later there were some deer along the edge of the road. Just as the light of day was almost gone I spied two bears crossing the road before me, I stopped to let them pass. A third bear emerged from the trees and headed across the road to follow the other two, luckily I was able to let him cross, too. Just as I was getting ready to continue along our way... Boom! I was hit from behind. It seemed surreal, as I really couldn't believe it. How could the car behind me, not see me. I pulled over to the side of the road and essentially froze in my seat. I felt a sickness forming in the pit of my stomach and all I could think is that we were never going to get home. I looked at my husband and he was fine as he jumped out of the car to assess the damages. All I could keep saying was, "No, No, No." He finally came over to the window and told me that I needed to take a look at the car. I got out and took a look at the back of my car which looked like an accordion. It had only been three hours since I had the car back from the shop, how was this even possible was all I could think. I scrambled to call 911, and I didn't even know where I was - or my license, or anything else for that matter. The adrenaline was rushing and my heart was racing as the darkness not only closed in on the Pocono mountains, but around me. All I could think was, "I'm getting home tonight, I need to go home".
The police showed up and between them, my husband and the person who hit us, they rigged up the back of the car and we slowly drove away from the scene, knowing that we still had about 450 miles to go until we got home. I was in too much of a shock to drive, so my husband took the wheel and our focus was on getting home safely. The drive was long and the roads were torn up in many places due to highway construction. We finally rolled into our driveway at 3:30 am, amazed that we were finally home. It was hard to sleep that night, as tired as I was, my mind kept racing. I thought about the car and how upsetting it was to know that this was a car my husband bought for me and how it would likely be totaled. I knew how much I had enjoyed it and now the universe in my eyes was taking it away from me. I was panicking as I didn't know how long the process was going to take and what was going to happen.
The next morning the car had a flat tire in the driveway, and it just happened to be the wheel that hit the pothole and upon a closer look we noticed that the wheel was dented when it originally hit the pothole. It was amazing to think that the tire didn't go flat until we got home. There seemed to have been plenty of opportunities for it to happen the night before on the way home through all of the challenges of road construction. It definitely seemed like a miracle that we made it home.
It didn't take long for me to find out that the car was a total loss, and in fact the insurance company was in disbelief as to how we drove it back. The auto body shop said that the design of the car pretty much saved our lives. The stress of the weekend definitely shook me up physically, and I definitely needed to clear my head space again. Once all of the paperwork was done and the phone calls came to an end, I realized that in the rush of things, somehow my laptop had been lost. I made a call to the hotel and surprisingly someone found it in the parking lot and they had turned it in. The hotel agreed to send it back to me at their first convenience.
I activated my close circle of friends to talk out the stress and to help heal my body, mind and spirit, which had definitely been bruised in the random course of events. I asked the universe for some assistance and I brought out my crystals and healing candles to reconnect to the stronger energies that I needed. Through the medicine of plants and herbs I was also reminded of the magic of the green world around us. Before I knew it the stress that my body manifested subsided and amazingly I had found another car and things were getting back on track. I was extremely grateful for the support I had from both my husband and my little support system of close and talented friends. It took a while to sink in that both my husband and I were okay and we were finally home. After a few days I made the decision that I was going to make a strong comeback from the ordeal. The hospitality and kindness of many strangers in Pennsylvania really reminded me of the inherent goodness of people.
While, I still don't quite understand the craziness of what happened our visit to Pennsylvania, the fact that we are still here is reassurance that even when we think we've lost control it's good just to focus on where we are. It was extremely easy to get caught up in the moments of fear and frustration and it seemed difficult to remain calm and focused. The stress was so potent that it actually manifested in my physical body. Once I was able to clear my head and focus on the best aspects of the situation I was able to step into the flow of positive change and my body began to heal.
I found that after this experience that it was, yet, another opportunity to begin things anew and that change is inevitable. We have wells of strength deep inside of us that can pull us out of any situation, we just have to believe it. Having a tribe of people that support and uplift us during our most challenging moments is invaluable. Stepping back into my place of power with these refreshed thoughts has never felt better, as I type this on the computer that was the final thing to come back from Pennsylvania - special thanks to the stranger who found it and turned it in to the hotel.
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